THE NAKED TRUTH
ZAYN...
The concert was about to begin in twenty minutes and I was still talking on the phone, which made Louis gave me his sassiest look. I ignored him and continued talking on the phone.
“Don’t worry, PRINCESS.” I deliberately said the last word loudly, while trying to avoid looking at Louis. “Everything is okay... Yeah, yeah....I’ll be there...... We’ll be going to Japan next and then we’ll be heading home....I will, princess. I will......I’ll see you soon.... Yes, I promise.... Okay, take care.... I love you too. Bye.”
“Have you two quite finished?” Louis said flippantly when I hung up. He was referring to me and Harry.
I chuckled at his irritation. I glanced at Harry who was saying his goodbyes to the person on his phone. He was probably talking to Jenna. Ever since the tour started, the two of them had been texting and talking to each other almost non-stop. He seemed more cheerful lately. It seemed like he was over his break up with Sarah.
Louis cleared his throat pointedly to get our attention. I knew he was dying to know what my conversation with Holly was about, but he would sooner surf naked in the ocean rather than ask me about it, and just to annoy him, I decided not tell him a thing. He knew I was talking to Holly because he heard me called her ‘princess’.
“Zayn!” Louis narrowed his eyes in warning. “Do me a favour, will you? Focus!”
I gave him a bright smile and said, “Okay, sorry.”
“Okay. Focus! Harry!” Louis got more irritated.
“Sorry, Lou.” Harry said cheerfully. But he did not look apologetic at all. “Jenna sends her love.”
“What is it with you two these days?” Liam inquired. “You have been acting weird.”
Harry sent him a look that said ‘What are you talking about?’.
“Okay, lads. This is it. Show time.” Louis said calling the me and the other three to huddle around before the concert started. “All the best, lads.”
Everyone murmured his encouragement and wished each other luck before the show began. I took a quick look at Louis. He seemed okay but he was not himself yet. He was far too serious. He rarely joked around anymore. I was a bit worried but I did not know what to do.
His last encounter with Holly did not go well. I understood his anger this time. Much as I loved Holly, I agreed with Louis. She should have told him about her being pregnant. Louis would have found a way to make it work. I was sure of it. I cared about both of them very much and I wanted to see them happy, but I would let them work this out themselves.
My thoughts returned to the day Louis went to see Holly at Bradford. Louis was so enraged that he refused to hear any explanation. Not from me, and much less from Holly. After Louis left, Holly and I sat on a nearby bench and talked about the reason behind her decision to keep the pregnancy a secret.
With tears spilling from her eyes, she gave me an overly bright smile and shoved her hands in the pockets of her charcoal coat. “Do you remember my parents, Zayn? Do you know why I spent most of my time at your house?” She asked.
“You told me it was because of your parents.”
“Yes, it’s because of my parents.” She took a deep breath to calm herself. “They were teenage sweethearts and they loved each other very much. Mum was supposed to go to Uni and Dad was already being offered to play piano in an orchestra. The down side of it was he would have to travel. He would be gone for a long stretch of time.”
“Then mum got pregnant and it was unplanned. They decided to get married. Mum put Uni on hold and Dad declined the offer, saying that there will be other opportunities, that things will be okay.” She choked on her words. She wiped the tears that were flowing down her cheeks away angrily with her fingers. I put my arm around her shoulder.
“But things did not get better. Once they had me, they began to realise that they would never be able to do what they wanted to do in the first place. Mum got bored staying at home looking after me. Once I went to school, she got more time on her hands. She felt bored and wanted more. She was still young and felt that there were a lot more she could be doing. Dad felt the same way. He saw other musicians, who had lesser talent, were more well-known. He felt he was stuck in the same position for years.” She stopped abruptly. I could see the pain reflected in her eyes.
“As the years go by, their resentment grew. They still love each other but their feeling of bitterness was stronger. They fought all the time and it was unbearable. They started blaming each other for holding them back. And in times, they started blaming me. That was why I used to spend so much time at your house. Home was not a pleasant place to be.” She looked so miserable that I pulled her closer and gave her a comforting squeeze.
“It hurts a lot. I didn’t ask to be born. Sometimes I wished that they didn’t decide to have me; that Mum just goes to a clinic and get rid of me. I think that would be better. They could go on with their life and be happier people.”
“I’m sorry, princess.” I wiped her tears away gently with my fingers. “I am so sorry.”
“Zayn, if I stay, I’m afraid the same thing would happen. I know that Louis would be a great father. He’s great with children and he loves them, but my dad was also a good father before he felt trapped in his life. I don’t want the same thing to happen to Louis.” Her glum look really upset me.
“In times, he would resent me and he would resent our child.” She really believed the things she was saying.
“No, he won’t. You don’t know that.” I said empathically.
“Maybe I don’t, but that is the risk that I am not willing to take and a mistake I’m afraid of making. If that happened, like my parents, he would be unhappy. I don’t want that. I don’t mind stepping out of his life, as long as he is happy. And I know that he is happy now. That is all I want.”
“Holly, you don’t know if that would be his reaction. Louis is one of the greatest guys that I have ever met. I have faith that he would do the right thing if you told him about it.” I told her confidently.
She shrugged. Her eyes were dried now. “He may, but do you think your management would let him?”
“I can’t answer that because I have no idea how they would react to the news, but Louis would fight them tooth and nail.”
She gave me a fond smile. “You really like him, don’t you?”
“He’s one of my best mates.” I shrugged.
“You know, Holly. I love you but I think you have done something which is, to me, unforgivable. You have let your fear...Yes, your unfounded fear controls you.” I continued talking even though she was shaking her head in protest. “You should have told him. You should have told me what was going on. Get this into that thick skull of yours; I will always be there for you. No matter what happens.”
She bit her lower lips, thinking hard about what I had said. She heaved a great sigh. “Maybe you’re right, sunshine. Maybe it was my fear. I am afraid of taking risk and I’m scared of going through it again. But I did not expect the heartache of leaving him would be as terrible.”
“This time his anger would be even greater than the first time. You have a lot of amends to make, princess.”
“I know.” She murmured miserably.
A nudge at my ribs brought me back to the present time. It was Liam digging his elbow into me to get my attention. “You’re miles away, mate.”
“Sorry.” I apologised for being distracted. “I had things on my mind.”
“We can talk about it later, if you want to.” He generously offered as we were in the middle of a song and Niall was singing his parts in More Than This.
“Thanks, mate.” I gave him a grateful smile and glanced around me. The tour was almost over and there were only a handful of shows left. I was excited that we would be going home soon. I missed my family and friends a lot. When I get home, the first thing I would do would be to sleep the whole day in my own bed. That would be such bliss.
