BABY DADDY
LOUIS...
I left New York with Niall and Liam a day after Holly had gone back to England. I seriously considered calling, to see how she was doing, but I forced myself to stay away. Zayn stayed behind for a few days to spend time with his girlfriend. According to Zayn, Holly went straight to Bradford the day she arrived in England.
As I had not seen my own family in months, I decided to go and visit them. I missed my mum and sisters a lot. Being away from home so much, like the lads and I did, made us appreciate the time spent with our family even more. Home was where we could really be ourselves.
I like to just stay at home and spend times with family and friends when I was there. Sometimes, I would just drive around just to see the old hang out places I used to go with my friends. It seemed like another lifetime.
I had been home for a few days when mum commented that I was a bit out of sort. I told her, I was just tired. Well, I was tired but that was not the real reason. I just did not want her to worry. Holly kept creeping into my mind. She was almost always on my mind. I tried NOT to think about her, but I could not help myself. I would be watching football on the telly, when my mind would wander to our time watching football together. I would be taking a walk and I would remember how she used to love our walk together. I did not want to think about her. She disturbed my peace of mind, and I did not like it. But pushing her out of my head was harder than saying it.
I was spending a lazy day at home, when I found my old laptop sitting in my closet. I turned it on and clicked through some picture files, smiling to myself as I found picture of the delightful William. I missed that little boy.
My mum found me grinning fondly at a particular video file that one of the lads took of me and William. I was kicking some balls with the boy.
“What are you watching, sweetheart?” She was curious, as I had not been my usual cheerful self lately.
“Hi, Mum. Just looking through some old pictures and videos I found.” I turned around, with a happy smile on my face, and looked up at my mum who was standing behind me. She gave my shoulder a squeeze. She probably missed seeing smiles on my face.
Mum went around and sat beside me on the sofa to look at the pictures. She was so quiet that I turned to look at her. Her eyes were glued to the screen of my laptop. When she realised that I was staring at her, she looked at me straight in the eyes and inquired, “Louis, sweetheart, is there something that you are not telling me?”
“What do you mean?” I was a bit confused.
She gave me an exasperated look and nodded towards the direction of my laptop. “Who’s the boy?”
I glanced back at the picture and smiled fondly, “This little fellow? Oh, I met him during our tour in the US. Adorable, isn’t he?”
Mum was still staring at me with a serious look on her face. “You met him? Go on.”
“He came to a few of our shows and the two of us just hit it off. He really liked me. I was his favourite. Unfortunately, he was killed in an accident about a year ago.” I continued.
Mum was still staring at me with a fierce look on her face. “That’s all? Are you sure?”
“Mum, what exactly is this about?” I could not figure out what trigger her question. Since she was acting really odd, I gave her a bemused look and turned to face her.
“He’s not yours?” Mum asked me bluntly, seeing the bewildered look on my face.
“Mum!”
“I know! I know! But are you sure he’s not yours?” Mum persisted.
“I am quite sure, yes. If he was, I’m sure the mother would tell me, wouldn’t she?”
Mum bit her lower lips like she always did when she was thinking hard. Without saying a word, she got off the sofa and headed for the door. She left me feeling puzzled. When she returned a few minutes later, she had a big picture album in her hands. I knew the album very well. Mum kept the pictures of my sisters and me in that album ever since we were little.
She sat down beside me and opened the album. She started turning the pages until she found a picture of me in Nan’s house. I was about two years old in that picture. She put the album on my lap, on top of my laptop.
“Look at this picture of you.” She ordered. “And compared it to the picture of the boy.”
I looked at her oddly but I obeyed her. Just what was she getting at? My eyes went back and forth between the picture in the album and the one on my laptop’s screen. Only then I understood what my mum saw. The resemblance of the two boys in the picture was so uncanny that it freaked me out.
“Do you understand now?” Mum entreated. “The boy looks so much like you when you were little.”
I was speechless. The realisation of the fact that William could be my son, sunk slowly in my brain. I was so overwhelmed; it left me gasping for air. I felt like somebody had just punched me in the stomach and I could not think straight.
“Is he yours, Louis? Is he my grandson?”Mum persisted.
“I don’t know, Mum.” I shook my head to clear my thoughts. “He did look like me in this photo.”
“So, do you know the mother well or was she a casual acquaintance or a stranger?” She quizzed.
“A stranger? Mum!” I knew what she was getting at but not a chance on earth was I going to discuss my sex life with my mum. “Have a little faith, would you.”
“So, you know the mother.” She was nothing if not persistent.
I slowly nodded. I still could not believe my eyes. I was still staring at William’s picture. I did not know exactly what to feel. Anger, grief, thrill, pleasure; all rolled into one.
“Is there any possibility that he might be yours?” She was extremely persistent. I nodded again. Yeah, there was HUGE possibility.
“Who is the mother, sweetie?” My mum’s gaze never left my face.
I sighed and leaned back on the sofa. After several heartbeats, I said resignedly, “Holly.” I closed my eyes while contemplating the next course of action that I should take.
“The one that broke your heart?” Mum knew everything about me. I never actually told her but somehow she knew. Well, mums always did. It was one of their superpowers.
“Yes.” I confessed.
“You never told me what happened, sweetheart.”
“She left. Just like that. No explanation. Nothing at all. A few weeks later, she called to tell me, she was breaking up with me. I didn’t even know what I did wrong.” I explained the details to my mum. “She got married, but her husband died of cancer recently.”
“Are you still in contact with her?”
“Not really. Since she broke up with me, I haven’t talked to her or seen her until she came to see Zayn about three months ago. She is even more beautiful, Mum.”
“Are you still in love with her?”
“I don’t know. I really don’t know. A part of me says it is just an obsession and a part of me does not want to do anything with her.”
“Oh, come here, baby.” Mum gave me a hug. You are afraid of getting hurt again, aren’t you?”
I did not know how to answer that.
“So, what are you going to do?” Mum asked curiously.
“I’m not quite sure.” I confessed.
“Aren’t you going to ask her if the child was yours?”
“Should I?”
“Louis William Tomlinson! If that child was my grandson, I want to know.”
“What’s the point, Mum? He died almost two years ago.”
“Sweetheart, if that child was yours, I want to know why she didn’t she tell you about him. Why did she deprive you from knowing your own flesh and blood?”
“Okay, Mum. I get it. To be honest, I am afraid of what her answer would be. I am also afraid what i would do to her, if she says William was indeed my son.”
“Louis.” Mum almost shrieked. She put her hand on my shoulder and gave me a strange look. “His name was ‘William’?”
“Yes.” I could not help being perplexed why she was freaking out about that. So, he was called ‘William’. So what?
“Louis!”
“What is it, Mum?” I still did not get what she was getting at.
Mum gave me her ‘you-gotta-be-kidding’ look. “She named him ‘William’. Your middle name is ‘William’. You don’t think she named him after you? You think it was just a coincidence that the boy is also called ‘William’?”
I had never thought of it that way. Mum pressed both her hand on my cheeks and gave my forehead a kiss. “Now I am even more convinced that the boy was yours.”
I could feel my anger started to bubble up. I put the laptop and the album aside and started to rise from the sofa.
Mum took my larger hands in her smaller ones. “I know you’re angry, but don’t take it out on her. Talk to her and listen to what she has to say. Whatever it is, it is all in the past.”
I gave a forced smile so that she did not worry. “Don’t worry, Mum. I know what to do.”
“I know you do, sweetheart.” Mum kissed me on the cheek before getting up from the sofa and walked out of the room.
I did not know exactly to react to all these. My heart was pounding so hard and my mouth felt dry. I took several deep breaths to calm myself down, as I paced the length of my bedroom floor before I picked up my phone to call Zayn, to ask him of Holly’s whereabouts.
“What do you want with her?” Zayn asked curiously, when I asked him about Holly.
“Just some unfinished business.” I hesitated to tell Zayn what it was all about.
“About what?” He was quite persistent when it came to Holly.
“None of your business, Zayn.” I was starting to get annoyed.
“Holly is my business, Louis. Don’t you go and hurt her.” Zayn warned.
“Me hurting her? What about the fact she’s the one hurting me?” I lashed out bitterly.
Zayn sighed with frustration. “Look, Louis. Both of you are my friends and I love the both of you. I don’t want to see any of you get hurt. But if the two of you only hurt each other every time you are together, then I think it is better for you to stay away from each other.”
“I AM staying away from her. But this is important, Zayn. If not, I wouldn’t have asked.”
“Okay, fine. She’s at her mother’s house.” Zayn said resignedly.
“Okay. Thanks, man.”
So, I decided to see her. I would take me less than an hour drive from home to Bradford.
