Second Chance - Chapter 2

MIXED FEELINGS

LOUIS....

          Harry, Liam and I planned to go out as it was our day off. Our next show would be in two days, so we had a bit of down time. We decided to go shopping for gifts for our friends and family back home. I loved buying things for those that I loved. I was thinking of buying a bit of jewellery for my mum, clothes and stuff toys for my sisters, and for my friends, souvenirs and other stuffs that would catch my eyes.

We asked Niall and Zayn to come with us but Niall refused to get up. I guess he was still feeling tired so we let him sleep. As for Zayn, he had been acting strange since Sunday. He received a text message after we did sound check in the afternoon. After he read it and he promptly walked away to make a phone call. When he came back, he was all smiles and looked pretty excited.

When I ask him about it, he said it was from an old friend. That got me remembering an old friend of his, a girl who used to come and support us during our X-Factor days. No! I stopped myself. I refused to think about her. She was in the past. A distant past. Very distant past. I had a wonderful life now. I was happy. 

We were about to go out, and Liam was opening the door. Suddenly, he stopped. Harry was in front of me and I was the last one to see what caused Liam to stop in his track. Over Harry’s shoulder, I could see Zayn hugging a girl outside the room which he shared with me.

There was nothing wrong with hugging a girl, especially when she had a body like that. Man! That body was worth hugging. However, when you were one fifth member of a famous boy band hugging a girl who was not your girlfriend, in front of your hotel room, half-naked, it could be misconstrued even though everything was completely innocent, which I knew it was because Zayn was in the next bed alone last night.

If someone were to see this scene, it would be interpreted as Zayn cheating on his girlfriend. It looks like he was reluctant to say goodbye to the girl after spending the night with her. He was barefooted and he did not even have his short on. He was holding her tightly in his arms. It was as if he never wanted to let her go.

If the paparazzi could see this, the press would have a field day!

Daddy Liam cleared his throat. “Zayn?” A request for explanation on why he wasn’t more discreet. Scene like this should be kept behind closed doors because it could be blown out of proportion in no time at all.

Zayn looked up and let her go but he still had his arm around her shoulder. I was smirking, enjoying the moment when Zayn tried to explain himself. I looked at the girl. She was staring at me. Somehow she looked really familiar. She reminded me of someone. No, it couldn’t be. It couldn’t possibly be her. I probably conjured up her image by thinking about her earlier.

My attention turned to Zayn when he says, “It’s not what it looks like, lads. This was Holly. Remember her? She used to come to watch us on X-Factor.”

Hearing that name was like someone had just punched me in the stomach. I tensed up and my eyes snapped back to her face. It was HER! After all these years, she was here again. She looked different yet she looked the same. I couldn’t explain it. She looked exquisite. Her shiny brown hair was longer, the sexy lips I used to kiss so passionately was so... so... inviting, her face, her eyes, everything about her brought back painful memories, when the two of us were ecstatically happy, which I tried so hard to forget.

I didn’t know how to feel. Angry? Yes, I was angry for her leaving without explanation and without even saying goodbye. Frustrated? Heck, yes.  I wanted to kiss those luscious lips until she forgot every other boy around her. Happy? Maybe. I finally laid eyes on the face that haunted me for more than two years. Hate? I guess. I hated her for breaking my heart, for leaving without a single word, without any explanation why she had to go. Afraid? Yes. Definitely yes, when I realised that I still had feelings for her. I was afraid that I was going to fall in love with her again. In a way, I still had not got over her yet. No matter how many times I told myself that she no longer mattered to me, that I no longer cared about her, I knew that was a lie.

Did I fall for her last time? Yes, I did. Head over heels! No one knew what happened between us. It was our secret. Not even Zayn knew, although at times I had the feeling he had an inkling of what was going on. Zayn was very protective of her. It was better that way; I didn’t want anyone to know how she stole and then broke my heart, and how I wept silently for her.

After she left, I felt like curling up in a corner and shutting everybody out. However, I knew that my band mates would be asking questions; questions which I couldn’t answer. To avoid that, I threw myself into work to keep myself from thinking about her, to keep from crying my eyes out. I worked so hard that every night, the instant my head touched the pillow, I fell asleep.

“Holly? Yeah, yeah, I remember her.” Harry said enthusiastically. He stepped forward to give her a hug and a peck on the cheek. “Wow, you look stunning.”

“Thank you, Harry. Still quite the charmer, I see. You didn’t look too bad yourself.” She smiled when he let go of her. She turned to Liam, hugged and kissed him on the cheek. “Hi, Liam.”

“Hi, Holly. It has been quite some time, hasn’t it?” Liam said.

“Yes, it has. I really missed you guys.” When Liam let go of her, she turned to me. I didn’t even move a muscle.

“Hi, Louis.” She said warily. She bit her lips, looking so unsure of herself and about how I would react. Her beautiful light brown eyes bore into mine. I lost track of time standing there unmoving while staring at her with a dark frown on my face. After some time, Liam nudged me in the rib.

“Hi.” I said tonelessly. Somehow I managed to get the greeting out. She gave me a timid little smile which I chose to ignore.

She was even more beautiful now. Her hair was different; longer now and she had different hairstyle. Her hair used to be shorter and she likes to pull it back in a ponytail. How many times had I run my fingers through that soft hair while kissing her? Now she let it falls at her back, while some of it falls in front. The end which curls slightly rests on her firm br... let’s not go there. I was in the middle of a hotel corridor with three of my mates, which makes it super unacceptable to have thoughts about her, er... physical attributes.

“Don’t I get a hug?” She asked. Four pairs of eyes were on me. It unnerved me. If I didn’t hug her, my friends would question me for acting strange around her. So, I stepped forward and hugged her dutifully. I was tense and the embrace was awkward but the moment I touched her, electricity ran up my arm. I could feel her trembled slightly. It shocked me when I realised that what I really want to do was kiss her, right there and then!

I released her quickly. I wanted to get out of here. I didn’t want to be standing near her because she was such a temptation. Avoiding looking at her, I nudged Harry’s arm.

“Shouldn’t we be going?” I said quite abruptly. Harry only responded by raising his eyebrows in question. He must think I was acting a little odd, which I was.

Liam saved the day by saying, “Well, you two catch up on the news first, while we do our shopping. Shall we have lunch together, Holly? Are you free all day today?”

She flashed him her brilliant smile. “Yes, I am and that would be wonderful, Liam. Thank you.”

“So, we’ll see you later then.” Both Harry and Liam gave her another hug and kissed her cheek. I just stood there, still avoiding looking at her, but very aware of her every movement.

I left hurriedly, trying to put the much needed distance between us. Trying to control myself, I took a deep breath which was a mistake. I could smell her perfume. I recognised the scent. Her favourite perfume: Flower by Kenzo. Soft, fresh, floral and sweet.

I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to hug her and take her to bed but I also want to strangle her.  Well, not literally, anyway. Maybe, what I was feeling right now was just because of the shock of seeing her after all this while. I knew I shouldn’t be feeling this way about her. I couldn’t feel like this. What I should be feeling was indifference. Yes, that’s right! Indifference! I shouldn’t be having these feelings; I had a girlfriend, for heaven’s sake!