Second Chance - Chapter 16

LAST WISH

ZAYN...

The apartment at Central Park West was obscenely luxurious with thick wall to wall carpeting and thick glass walls which offers us the magnificent view of the famous park.

Louis and I were in Ryan Philips’ home. His secretary had called us and extended Philips’ invitation a couple of days before we wrapped up our North America tour.  At first, Louis declined the invitation but then the man himself called Louis to persuade him to go. In the end, Louis agreed to go with me to meet him.

Louis had been in a ‘difficult’ mood since the incident in the bookstore. After saying goodbye to Holly, I went back to the hotel together with Jenna and Harry. Louis was nowhere to be seen. My guess was he was cooling off his temper somewhere.

I tried to talk to him a few times despite Holly’s request not to do so. However, he refused me point blank. After that, I left him alone to wallow in his anger and resentment.

He invited Vicky to go on tour with us, and frankly speaking, at the end of the six weeks, the boys and I, and also the crew had quite enough of her drama. She had gotten on everyone’s nerve. She treated the crew as if they were her own personal maid and butler, ordering them about and then complained loudly to Louis how everyone was bullying her. By the end of the tour, everybody was glad that they would not have to see her for a while. And Louis, the idiot, was oblivious to her behaviour as she was very sweet and gentle in front of him but as soon as Louis turned his back, she would unsheathe her claws.

When she found out that we were going to meet Phillips, she whined about being left behind and about Louis not caring and spending time with her. Louis, being the master of sass, looked at her up and down witheringly. I had to work hard not to laugh at that. I guess Louis also had enough of her.

We were ushered by a male servant into a small control room in a recording studio where we were greeted by a frail, pale man sitting on a wheelchair. He was sickly but the extremely good-looking, brown-haired man, whom I thought was seemed oddly familiar, greeted us with a genuine smile. I would guess he was in his late thirty.

He offered his hand and said. “You are Zayn Malik.”

I took the offered hand without smiling and nodded my head.

He turned to Louis and eyed him up and down. “And you’re Louis Tomlinson.”

He stared at Louis straight in the eye and Louis stared back at him. After a long uncomfortable silence, he extended his hands and introduced himself. “I’m Ryan Philips.”

I felt Louis stiffen beside me. So, this is Holly’s husband. At this point, I reserved my opinion of him. Louis shook his hand but his eyes were hard and his mouth was set in a hard line.

“Good to meet you finally. Holly talked a lot about you.”

“All good stuff, I hope.” I joked to lighten the atmosphere as Louis look as if he wanted to punch the guy’s lights out. If the guy was not ill, he probably would.

“I let you decide. You, Mr. Malik were her best friend since ‘forever’. Her words, not mine. You were like a brother to her. Did I get that right?”

“Yeah, pretty much.” I agreed.

He turned and eyed the resentful Louis. His gaze was unwavering and he stated, “You are a very lucky man, Mr. Tomlinson. I would sell my soul to be in your shoes.”

“Your definition of ‘lucky’ and mine are probably quite different, Mr. Philips.” The unsmiling Louis declared.

“Maybe.” Ryan grinned at the answer. “But I still stand by mine.”

“Please, sit down.” Ryan gesture to the two chairs nearby. “I’m glad that you decided to accept my invitation to come.”

Something nagged me at the back of my head. He looked familiar and the name also sounded familiar. I looked around me: the mixing console and multitrack recorder. Suddenly, something clicked in my mind.

“You’re Ryan Phillips, the owner of Little Oak Studio in London, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am.” He admitted.

“No wonder you look familiar. So, why are we here? Does it have something to do with Holly?” I asked curiously.

“As a matter of fact, yes.” He nodded slowly. “This is about Holly.”

“What about her?” I said.

“I need a favour from you.” He confessed.

“What is it?” I leaned forward to better listen to him.

“I am dying.” He stated simply. “I only have a very short time left. I need you to do something after I am gone.”

Louis and I looked at each other. What could this guy want us to do?

“I was diagnosed with cancer three years ago. The doctors gave me 18 months to live. I was devastated. I couldn’t accept it.  I was in my prime and on top of my game.”

“When I met Holly at WW Children’s Home, I was still in denial. I saw her there; so young, so kind and generous. She has problems of her own but that does not stop her from helping others. We started talking and she was the one who made me see that I should not give up. They gave me 18 months and I have exceeded it.” He smiled weakly.

“I have to thank Holly. She makes me forget that I was ill. She was the best thing that ever happened to me.” He smiled again and chuckled when he saw Louis, who was sitting beside me, gritted his teeth. “I loved her, you know. If someone were to tell me three years ago that I would fell for a slip of a girl who is almost half my age, I would have laughed my head off.”

“At first, we were two strangers trying to comfort each other. The more I knew her, the more I fell in love with her.” Ryan took a deep breath and stated his request. “I want you to take her away from here when I’m gone.”

“Take her away? Where?”

“Anywhere but here. Take her back to England. She needs to be with the people she loves. I don’t want her to fall apart like she did when her father and Will died. Promise me you take care of her.”

“Of course. We promise.” I said on behalf of Louis. He was still sitting beside me, still had not said anything. I was wondering: Who is Will?

The side door in the live room suddenly swung inwards, and Holly walked in. We were looking through the glass window from the control room.

“Ryan, are you there?” She knocked on the darkened glass. She could not see us from her side of the room.

Ryan moved his wheelchair towards the console and pushed a button so he could talk to a microphone. “Yes, I’m here sweetheart.”

“Which one would you like to listen to?” Holly went to sit at the keyboard and began pressing the keys.

“(Everything I Do) I Do It for You. That’s a nice one.” He suggested.

Holly began playing the song and sang soulfully. She was an exquisite singer and a talented musician. I had been a long time since I last hear her sing. The last time was before I left for X-Factor.

“She went for grief counselling after they died. She was depressed and she couldn’t accept that they were gone. Music and writing had helped her to express the feeling she couldn’t say. Hazard a guess who she sings this song for?” Ryan looked pointedly at Louis but he was looking at down at his feet. His face was unreadable.

Louis looked up and fixed his gaze on me. “I didn’t even know she could sing and play music.”

I shrugged. “We were supposed to go together for the audition but somehow she did not submit her form. She could play guitar, piano, drum and violin. Her father was a gifted musician. She got it from him, I guess.”

Holly had finished singing the song and was asking Ryan if he wanted her to play another. “Yeah, do another one. Please Forgive Me.”

“Okay.” And she began singing again.

“Listen to the song.” Ryan instructed. “One part of her therapy was to choose songs that have meaning for her. I taught her this one and the one she sang just now. Do you know who this song is for?”

When Louis and I didn’t say anything, Ryan professed, “It’s for you, Mr. Tomlinson, as was the first one.”

Louis stared at the man disbelievingly and Ryan met his gaze. “Like I said, you are a very lucky man, Mr. Tomlinson. Were I to live longer, I would have taken her away from you.”

“I believe you have done that.” Louis retorted.

“Physically, yes. But her heart, no.” Ryan shot back and then sighed. “The two of you should really talk. You should listen to her.”

The door suddenly opened and an elderly lady stepped in.

“Ryan, do you want....” She stopped short when she saw me and Louis. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you have guests.”

“It’s okay, mom.” Ryan smiled fondly at her. “Gentlemen, this is my mother. Martha Philips. Mom, these are...”

“Louis Tomlinson and Zayn Malik.” She cut him short. “I know who they are.”

She gave us a big smile and shook our hands. I was impressed that this little lady knew us, when I realised that I knew her from somewhere.

“You seem really familiar, Mrs. Philip.” I said as I shook her hands.

“Martha Philips!” Louis said delightedly. “Yes. William. You remember him, Zayn. Handsome little fella. Beautiful blue eyes. Called me ‘dada’.”

“Oh, you still remember me.” Martha was pleased.

She had brought Baby William and another two nieces to our shows in East Rutherford, New York and Camden. She had gotten them backstage passes to see us and they were given royal treatment. Ryan must have pulled some strings to make it happen.

Louis was thrilled when Baby William had called him ‘dada’. I guess that means ‘daddy’ and asked him for hugs and kisses. He spent most of his time in Louis’ arms. Louis, the softie, was so captivated by the boy. Martha even gave him her instagram account which was filled with William’s photos. Louis instantly followed her.

Will? William? Could it be that William was Holly’s son? Holly said she never slept with anyone else other than Louis. That would mean.... I actually turned pale when I made the connection. Is Baby William was Louis’ child? If he is then.... Louis didn’t even know the child he adored so much was his own.

I looked at Ryan, wanting his confirmation. He must have guessed what I wanted to say as he nodded slightly. When Louis left with Martha to look at William’s photos, Ryan stopped me. “Please, don’t tell Louis yet. Let Holly do it.”

I looked at Holly still singing in the live room and turned back to Ryan. I nodded slowly. Holly needed to be the one to tell Louis.

“Before you go, take this.” He hand me a copy of Holy’s book, Making Amends. “Inside the front cover was written the ID and password to Holly’s private blog. If all else fail and he still would not listen to her, give that to Louis.”

Second Chance - Chapter 15

A GIFT FOR YOU

HOLLY...

Noah drove away leaving Zayn watching us disappeared among the hundred thousand cars on the street of New York. Noah took me straight to Martha’s house. The nearer I get to our destination, the more anxious I became.

The last time I saw Ryan was before he started treatment and that was almost six months ago. He handed me some cash, credit cards, a Ford Escape, the keys to an apartment in New Jersey and the instruction to finish writing my book. He told me to get it publish before his condition got even worse.

I did just that. I wrote day and night to get it done. The day I handed the script to Allie, I called Ryan.

“I finished it, Ryan.” I informed him happily.

“Good! I am so glad. There’s a lot more to do, sweetheart. But for the time being I want you to go out and live your life, Holly. Travel. Go places. Go where ever you want to go” Ryan told me.

“I want to be there with you.”

“No. I’m doing my treatment. You don’t need to be here. There’s nothing you can do here.” He refused me point blank.

“But, Ryan...” I started.

“I don’t want you to see me like this, Holly. I look terrible.”

“I don’t care how you look, Ryan.”

“But I do, Holly.” He said seriously. “I want you to remember the good-looking man you married. I do not want your pity. If you want to make me happy, go live your life. Please.”

Please. The word stopped me in my track. I wanted to argue and tell him that I don’t care about his looks but his heartfelt plea made me shut my mouth. Taking a deep breath, I made a decision.

“Okay, Ryan. I’ll do whatever you want.” I conceded.

“Do what you need to do, Holly. Don’t wait until it is too late.”

“What do you mean?”

Ryan sighed. “Go and see your mother, Holly.”

“I will, Ryan. I will.” That was a promise. I wanted to go back home and visit my mum. I missed her.

“One more thing. One Direction will be performing here soon.”

I was quiet for the longest time, as I did not know what to say.

“Holly? Sweetheart? Are you still there?

“Ýeah, I’m still here.”

“You need to go and see them you know. Especially, him. You need to tell him.” He stated.

I knew he was referring to Zayn and Louis. And he was right. I needed to see them and the idea had crossed my mind many times lately. It is just that I was... afraid. Afraid of rejection. Zayn would probably scold me but we would not be too angry and not for long. I knew him.

Louis, on the other hand, would probably give me the death stare like I was a disgusting creature that came out crawling from under a rock. That I would expect from him. I had hurt him.

Noah jolted me out of my reminiscence when he opened the car door for me. I looked around the car park. I did not even realise that we had arrived. I walked with Noah in silence to the lift. He pushed the button and the door opened. When we stepped inside, Noah inserted the key and pressed the button, and waited for the lift to carry us to Martha’s house.

Less than a minute, the door opened to a beautifully decorated apartment and a small, elegant blond-haired woman in lavender greeted me.

“Holly, my dear. It so good to see you.” She hugged me tightly and kissed both of my cheeks. There were unshed tears in her eyes making them looked glassy. “I missed you, dear.”

“I missed you too, Martha.” I was quite emotional. I hugged her again before letting her go. “Ryan?”

“He’s in his room. Go ahead and see him. We’ll talk later. For the time being, I’ll just go and prepare dinner for us.” Martha ushered me to Ryan’s room. I thank her with a smile.

I knocked softly on the door before opening it and said quietly to the darkened room, “Ryan?”

“Holly? Sweetheart? Is that you?” His voice sounded weak and tired. The lamp on his bedside table flickered on.

“Yes, it’s me, Ryan. I’m here.” I braced myself for what I was going to see. I almost gasped aloud when I saw Ryan. He was pale, thin and frail. His beautiful brown hair was thin and I could see some bald spots. His eyes were sunken. I had to force myself not to cry.

“Come and sit by me, sweetheart. I missed you.” He smiled happily at me. I walked towards him and sat at the edge of the bed. He sat up and spread his arm open so he could give me a hug. I went into his arm and buried my face in his shoulder.

“I missed you too. You know that you can call me and I will come anytime. Anytime, Ryan.” I let go of him and reached out to arrange the pillows so he could lean back against them.

He chuckled softly. “Kind Holly. Always thinking of others before thinking of herself.”

He reached out and touched my cheek tenderly. He smiled affectionately. His hand was still cupping my cheek and his thumb caressing it.  “We need to break you of this habit of yours, you know. You need to start thinking of yourself.”

“Well, I think that’s a bit too late for that. I am the way I am.” I took his hand from my cheek and kissed the palm. He closed his for a moment as if savouring the feel of my lips on his palm. “You just have to take it or leave it.”

He chuckled again. “I take you just the way you are, sweetheart. Warts and all.”

“I do not have warts.” I laughed merrily.

“Tell me how it went.” He ordered.

“What? My meeting with Zayn and Louis?” I questioned and Ryan nodded. “The meeting with Zayn was okay. He was happy to see me and he forgave me. But Louis was another story.”

“Was he very angry?”

“When he first saw me, he wanted to wring my neck. Then, he calmed down. He didn’t exactly forgive me but we were able to have civil conversation. Then he found out about me married to you and the pregnancy. He totally flew off the handle.”

“Didn’t you explain it to him?”

“I tried but he would not listen. He thought the baby was yours and I married you because I was pregnant.”

“What?!” Shocked, Ryan shook his head slowly. “That stupid fool.”

“It’s okay, Ryan. Don’t worry about it. I will handle it later.” I declared.

“Do you want me to tell him?” He asked curiously.

“No! Don’t you dare. Let me handle this, okay?” I insisted firmly.

“Okay, whatever you say, sweetheart.” He conceded. “Now, play that song you used to sing, would you?”

“Which one?”

“The 1D one.”

“Moments?” I said smiling. It was one of my favourite songs from the boys.

“Yeah, that’s the one.” He confirmed.

I stood up from the bed and walked towards the window to draw the curtains. There was a baby grand at one corner of the room. I smiled fondly at Ryan and started playing the piano. I haven’t done this in a long time. Not since my last therapy session. My fingers flew on the smooth ivory keys and I sang to the tune. We spent the rest of the day singing, talking and watching movies.

I moved in and spent the next few weeks with Ryan. Doing things for him; feeding him, reading to him, and his favourite was me singing and playing the piano to him. We talked, watched silly movie and commented on and laughed at the absurd characters and ridiculous plots. I loved seeing him happy.

One morning, a month after, we enjoyed our breakfast on the terrace, and he smilingly told me, “I have a present for you.”

He handed me a large, official-looking, brown envelope which he kept on his side table. I took it and looked at him confusedly.

“What’s this?” I asked him, my brows furrowed with bewilderment.

He took my hand and held it in his larger ones. His gaze fixed on me. “This is my present for you. I want you to be happy, Holly.”

I was a bit puzzled by his words. “I am happy, Ryan.”

“No, you’re not. On the outside, you are. The one you presented to the world is the happy Holly but I am talking about you on the inside; the grieving Holly, the heartbroken Holly.” Ryan said seriously.  He touched my hair and pushed the flyaway strand behind my ear. “I know that inside you are still grieving for your child and I know that you are still in love with the baby daddy.”

I opened my mouth to protest.

“Don’t deny it, sweetheart. I know you are still very much in love with him. You tried to hide it and convinced yourself that you don’t but I can see it in your eyes every time you see him. And he is everywhere, isn’t he? He has been very successful.”

He was referring to the fact that, the band was so successful that the lads had their faces plastered everywhere: television, magazine, the net, billboards, posters..... you name it, their faces were there.

“You are forever trying to make others happy. You made me happy, Holly and Louis is successful beyond your imagination. Now, let me make you happy.” He caressed my cheek with his thumb. “Open the envelope, Holly.”

I followed his instruction to open the brown envelope hesitantly. I pulled out a small stack of papers from inside it halfway. I looked up at him, “What is this, Ryan?”

He did not answer my question. I pulled the papers out completely and read the heading on the front page. PETITION FOR ANNULMENT OF MARRIAGE.

“Ryan!” I exclaimed in shock. “What’s the meaning of this?”

“I’m filing a petition to annul our marriage, sweetheart.” Ryan explained.

“But why?” I was perplexed. Suddenly I found it difficult to breathe.

“Because I should not have married you in the first place.” Ryan patiently explained.

“I don’t understand.” I shook my head, uncomprehending his reasons for doing this.

“Listen to me, Holly. You are still so young. You have your whole life ahead of you. Go and achieve your dreams. Find happiness and love, sweetheart. There is no one more deserving to have all of that than you. When I’m gone...”

“Ryan, don’t say that!” I exclaimed.

“Holly, you know that I don’t have that much time left.” He wiped away the tears that had started falling down my cheeks. “Don’t cry, sweetheart. Please, I want the last days I spend on earth to be happy, to be full of laughter. I want to go with a big smile on my face. So, no crying. Okay?”

I nodded. Wiping my tears away, I gave him a HUGE forced smile. He took the envelope and its contents from my hands and set them on the table.

“That’s my girl.” He said approvingly. “I want to be able to go happily, knowing that you are happy here. I want to tell the angels that I had done something good for the girl that I love.”

My eyes flew to his face, taken aback. “Ryan...”

“I love you, Holly. I did not expect to fall for you but I did. I don’t know how or when. I must have fallen in love with you a little at a time and one day when I woke up, I realised that I loved you. You have stolen my heart. I have loved you for a long time, Holly.” He took my hands in his.

I stared at him, trying to take his surprising confession in. “I’m so sorry, Ryan. I didn’t know.”

“I never meant for you to know before this. But I have been thinking a lot lately. Especially about doing things too late. That is why I want to be able to say it to you before I go. There are a lot of things that I wish I had done and I regret not doing them when I could. I don’t want this to be one of those regretful moments in my life.”

“Ryan, I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I know you don’t love me the way I love you but, believe me, being there for you when you need me and spending time with you is enough to make me happy. Very happy.”

“I’m sorry.” I felt I had to apologise for not loving him as he loved me.

“Why? There’s no need to be sorry, sweetheart. Promise me when I am no longer here, you will fight for your love, fight for what you want. Do you understand me?”  He studied my expression and I nodded.

“Promise me you will go and make your baby daddy fall in love with you again. I know that the media says that he’s with that whoever her name was but I don’t think he loves her.” Ryan asserted.

“Be happy for me, will you?” He took hold of my chin in his hand. 

“The annulment will be finalised in a couple of weeks. Just remember, our marriage was one of the best things in my life.”

“If it was one of the best things, then why end it?” I did not get his reasoning.

“Because it is the right thing to do. Now, don’t argue.” He stopped me from protesting. His hand was still under my chin and he tilted it up so he could look into my eyes.

“I love you, Holly Adams.” He said softly and bent down to kiss my lips tenderly.

I closed my tightly to keep my tears from streaming down my face, as I kissed him back. How I wished that I could love this man as deeply as he loved me but my heart had always belong to the unforgiving Louis Tomlinson!

Ryan pulled away and I opened my eyes to look at him. The smile he had was quite sad but it was fleeting and quickly replaced with a cheerful grin. “Now, I want you to go and sing me that song that I like very much.”

“Okay. A Shoulder to Cry On?” I asked as I moved away from the terrace and walked towards the guitar placed on the sofa.

“Yes.”

I picked the guitar up and began strumming on it. The song Ryan chose was one of the songs he taught me during my therapy. It was his way of telling me that I could always rely on him. He was such a sweet, sweet man. I began singing:

Life is full of lots of up and downs

And the distance feels further 

When you're headed for the ground

And there is nothing more painful 

Than to let your feelings take you down

It's so hard to know the way you feel inside

When there's many thoughts and feelings that you hide

But you might feel better 

If you let me walk with you by your side 

And when you need a shoulder to cry on

When you need a friend to rely on

When the whole world is gone

You won't be alone, cause I'll be there

I'll be your shoulder to cry on, I'll be there

I'll be a friend to rely on 

When the whole world is gone 

You won't be alone, cause I'll be there 

All of the times when everything is wrong 

And you're feeling like 

There's no use going on 

You can't give it up 

I hope you work it out and carry on 

Side by side, with you till the end 

I'll always be the one to firmly hold your hand 

No matter what is said or done 

Our love will always continue on 

Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on 

Everyone needs a friend to rely on 

When the whole world is gone 

You won't be alone cause I'll be there 

I'll be your shoulder to cry on, I'll be there 

I'll be the one you rely on when the whole world's gone 

You won't be alone 

Cause I'll be there 

And when the whole world is gone 

You'll always have my shoulder to cry on

I ended the song with a huge grin as Ryan clapped his hands in appreciation.

“You sing beautifully, sweetheart.” He complimented.

“Thank you, Ryan.”

“Like I said before, you could have a career in singing if you want, Holly. You are good. Really good.” Ryan said enthusiastically.

“No. I write better than I sing. I love singing but to be a singer... I don’t know.” I shrugged. “I never dream of becoming a singer.”

“You could give the boys some competition, you know.” He grinned.

I laughed out loud and said, “As if.”

Second Chance - Chapter 14

HEARTBREAK

LOUIS...

I just could not wrap my mind around what she was saying. This was just... unbelievable!

I tried so very hard not to explode in rage. She left me to marry the guy who got her pregnant. She was sleeping with the guy at the same time she was sleeping with me! Oh, God. The pain I felt was... indescribable. It hurt so much! My heart felt like it was ripped out of my chest. It was like having my heart broken all over again.

Even though it took me quite some time to pick myself up when she left, I was proud to say that I did it. I had promised myself when she left that I would not feel anything towards her again. I even talked myself into believing that nothing she did would have any effect on me. I guess I was deceiving myself because I still felt hurt even after all these years.

After Holly’s confession, I walked around aimlessly among the thousands of people to cool my temper off. I felt like curling up in a ball and cry. I hated her. I hated her so much.

I hated her with a passion that other people reserved for love. I hated her for leaving. I hated her for cheating on me. I hated her for making a fool out of me. I hated her for not loving me the way I loved her!

What was wrong with me? Why wasn’t I good enough for her? What did this guy have that I don’t?

I pressed my eyes with the balls of my hands to wipe away the unwanted tears that threatened to fall. My chest hurt so much and I had difficulties breathing. I wanted to rage, to shout and scream, to kick things and to punch someone. I was feeling really violent.

I hated her for doing this to me, for making me feel this way. I did not want to think about her anymore. I did not want to have any feelings what so ever for her. Not even loathing. But it was kind of difficult because I could not stop thinking about her. She would not get out of my head. I guess I was kind of obsessed about her. Well, I had been since the day I met her.

I remembered the day I first saw her very clearly. The boys and I had just arrived at the studio for our first performance together. The first thing I noticed when we walked in was a girl sitting alone at the front seat looking exquisitely beautiful. She literally took my breath away.

Her mesmerising brown eyes sparkled and that sexy, kissable pink lips of hers broke into a grin when she saw us approaching. She waved. I remembered wishing desperately that she was not with one of the boys because I wanted her for myself. I wanted her, I wanted her badly from the first moment I lay my eyes on her. I never thought that I would feel this strongly about someone whom I had never met.

When Zayn, the good-looking one apart from Harry, Liam and Niall, waved back at her, I remembered the feeling of absolute disappointment came crashing down on me. I was really upset.

She stood up from her seat and walked towards us. Zayn ran to meet her half way. He was so happy to see her. When they hugged and kissed, I had to fight the powerful urge to go between them and pry those two apart. I could not understand myself. I had never felt like this before. I did not know why I felt so possessive of this girl that I did not even know.

The two of them came over to us and Zayn introduced her. I could not keep my eyes of her and I noticed that she kept glancing and peeking through her thick, long lashes at me.

I had to know. So, I came right out and asked Zayn if she was his girlfriend. The moron just smirked and said she was his ‘princess’. For heaven sake! What does that even mean? Did that mean she was his girlfriend? That made me felt a little ill.

How much problem was I going to get with my mates for wanting this girl for myself? I had just met her for about 5 minutes, yet she had occupied my mind ever since. When Zayn kissed her temple, she looked at me and smiled shyly. The two of them looked like the happy couple. I gritted my teeth at the thought.

I had to force myself to concentrate on our performance which was absolutely great. We were very happy with it. After our performance, I managed to catch her alone and asked her if she and Zayn were an item. She smiled sweetly said they were not. Zayn was more like a brother to her and he was extremely protective of her. I was on cloud nine. Her answer had me grinning like an idiot for the whole night.

She was like a drug I was addicted to. I could never get enough of her. All the time she was never far from my mind. I wanted to spend every possible time with her but I couldn’t because we were so busy practising for our performance every week. She never minded that I was busy because she knew how important this was to me and the rest of the boys. She was a wonderful girl and we were blissfully happy during that time... or at least, I was.

I guess she did not mind because she had somebody else to spend the time with!

When I became aware of my surrounding, I realised that I had no idea where I was. These tall buildings all looked the same. However, I wasn’t worried. I would call Paul and he would send someone to pick me up or I could take a taxi.

I was suddenly curious about the child. Was she a good mother? I remembered that she liked children like I did. She was good with them. She must have loved the child a lot. Was it a girl or was it a boy? Does the child look like her or her husband?

Husband! The word left a bad taste in my mouth. She was married! I stopped walking and took a really deep breath, trying to calm myself down.

I shook my head to get the memories out of my head. I need a distraction. I need to do something to keep my mind of things. I was a bundle of energy. I felt like going to a field and kick some football but that was not possible because we are leaving for the next destination in a few hours.

I took a deep breath and started walking back to our hotel. My mates would probably be worried. I checked my phone and sure enough there were 15 missed calls and 7 messages from the boys.

Maybe I should call Vicky and ask her if she would like to travel and spend time with me on the tour bus. Vicky could keep me from thinking about the girl with beautiful, sparkly brown eyes and sweet, soft kissable lips.